The demon in me
by kasumi.EFP
Summary: This fiction follows the events of "Daydream", which I suggest you read in order to understand prior events that lead to this tale. Summary: Spike has something Buffy needs to stop her new enemy, and he is determined to take advantage of his position. Buffy has to deal with her inner demon and with her mother illness.
1. Clash again

**- The demon in me -  
by Kasumi**

All the characters are owned by Joss Whedon, 20th Century Fox and Mutant Enemy.

___This fiction follows the events of "Daydream", which I suggest you read in order to understand prior events that lead to this tale._

_Summary: Spike has something Buffy needs to stop her new enemy, and he is determined to take advantage of his position._

_Placed during the fifth season, this story tells an alternative development of their relationship._

_Buffy has to deal with her inner demon and with her mother illness._

_Genre: What If, erotic, adventure, romance  
_

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Sexual situations

**Chapter 1  
Clash again**

_(Author's note: Thanks to Carol and Puddinhead for their help to fix the chapter.)  
_

"So, we've gotta prevent this rite from happening at any price?" Buffy asked, though she knew the answer.

"The prophecy says the destruction demon can be evoked only with these objects." Giles motioned at the pictures on the page, then started rubbing his glasses carefully with a piece of fabric.

"Can I have a better look?" Buffy snatched the book in front of him, trying to impress the pictures of the three very unique artifacts to her mind's eye.

The smell of mildew and dust filled her nostrils. The smell of old books. She had always wondered how her mentor could endure the hours he spent with that scent under his nose.

"They are all Egyptians, but come from different ages," Giles explained. "The first has just been stolen from British Museum. The second is supposed to be in a private collection of a bored and wealthy businessman, considering how we have lost track of it. And the third had passed through several hands, which we tracked, fortunately."

"Can the rite only take place if the three artifacts are together?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, of course. The three of them should be settled simultaneously at the corners of an imaginary equilateral triangle."

"So we need to find and destroy only one of them?"

"Well, yes, at the very least."

Buffy sighed and leaned back on the chair. "Who's the owner of the third? The artifact that has passed from hand to hand?"

The Watcher browsed the yellowed pages of the manuscript, scrolling his index finger over the text. "We found reliable signs of it around the thirteenth century BC-"

"I need the short version, please," Buffy begged.

The Watcher leafed through the pages, concentrating wholly on the text. His thin lips moved slightly, as he read a list of names and dates in a low voice. A group of parallel lines drew on his furrowed brow, interrupted only by the oblique line of an old scar.

His finger stopped in the middle of the page as he narrowed his eyes. "We have a trail in our century, in the chronicles of the master vampires Marcus and Kraven. It was stolen from the noble Viktor, who was killed by... uh!" A smile lit up his face.

"Please share with the class, Giles," Buffy said.

"We know the current owner very well." The man supplied with a smile.

Buffy hopped to her feet, her face full of determination. She leaned down on the table, pressing her hands against the wood. "Tell me who is he. Tell me whose ass I'm gonna kick."

Giles kept his face lowered on the book and looked at her over his glasses.

"Spike," he said.

A shiver spread through her body, shaking her very DNA. All of her firm determination faded in a second.

"Spike," she repeated in a whisper, widening her eyes.

_Considering all of the men, vampires and demonic creatures of the world, why on earth did it have to be him?!  
_  
"I needn't remind you how he dashed off under our noses about a month ago, do I? Without the chip, moreover?" Giles asked.

She didn't let him run away under their noses. She _deliberately_ distanced herself from him!

The memory of what had happened between them filled her suddenly, making her blush. She flinched at the thought of how he had unashamedly taken advantage of her while she was still unconscious. And how it could be definitely a rape if she hadn't let him use her body like that, believing it was just a dream.

God, she'd never found the courage to tell anyone about it

She had been so upset from the incident, but wasn't sure if she felt shame from the abuse or from the arousal and pleasure he'd given her. Her guilt had made her close her mind and her heart to Riley, ruining their relationship inexorably.

Since that night, she hadn't been able to be touched by a man. But, whenever she thought about what he'd done, she couldn't help but close her eyes and open her legs. She wondered why her body reacted in such treacherous ways.

"Damn!" she yelled.

"Calm down, Buffy. I have to say, fortunately, Spike is very easy to find, since he likes very much to be noticed."

"Let me pay a visit to Willy. I'll know where he's holed up in a jiffy and I have a hand to his throat by tomorrow night."

Giles pushed the rim of his glasses upon the bridge of his nose with his index finger. "Good. I'm counting on this. " He touched her shoulder reassuringly before heading to the book shelves.

Buffy lowered her face and realized just how tightly her fists were clenched. So tightly her fingernails dug into the flesh of her palms. Every muscle of her body was tense and ready to fight.

Because it was time to deal with him.

TBC


	2. Indecent proposal

**Chapter 2  
Indecent proposal  
**

_(Thanks to Puddinhead again for her help)_

In order to fulfill his own business in an undisturbed way, William the Bloody had moved into a town not very far from Sunnydale.

He'd thought that since he was chipless, he would be free to indulge all of his devilish instincts. But he hadn't considered that something could just stop him.

"Damn. Where's Rob when I need him?" Spike asked one of the vampires that were sitting at the table.

"He let 'em... Err... They caught him last week," the vampire said.

Spike cursed. "Why the hell can I never find reliable staff?!"

_'Maybe just because your kinds are not so completely trustworthy?'_ He thought bitterly.

He had to admit that the last time he could really count on someone, it had been with a human. Because, in fact, only inside Buffy's group had he felt an authentic sense of trust and harmony.

It was amazing how he almost regretted losing that feeling. The sense of acting for a higher purpose instead of his pure entertainment. Something that gave meaning to his immortal life.

Not that he'd ever admit it. Or that he would admit that he missed Buffy.

That little bloody chit who treated him like he was a piece of shit under her shoe. And the worse she treated him, the more he grew obsessed with her.

She'd never given him real satisfaction, apart from that night he managed to have her with that trick. But he liked to be near her, to feel her smell all around him, to look at her while she was fighting...

And the more he thought about that night, the more he wanted to have her again in his arms again.

To feel again the heat of her marvelous body, to stroke her soft skin, to feel all of those sensations beyond words that he had felt when he had held her. He longed very badly to feel that again.

He took a deep breath and he tried to concentrate on the game, to banish all of those thoughts. But he found it impossible, because thinking of her has brought his desire so high that it almost choked him. So he brought his glass to his lips and took a deep sip, thinking that maybe liquor could distract him.

In that moment, a tall and sturdy Texan crossed the open door and tapped his knuckles against the door jamb to attract his attention.

"Pardon me, Master. A guest has arrived and is most eager to speak with you."

Spike turned his head. "Who the hell dares to come here and put a stop to this sodding Poker game?" He put his cards down on the table and stood up.

He walked into the public room of the building, where a little blonde was waiting for him with crossed arms and a fierce expression on her face.

At the sight of her, his anger was replaced by surprise. A very happy surprise. His features softened immediately.

"Sweetheart," he called, "Didn't think you could resist the urge to look for me for so long!"

"I resisted it very well," she said through clenched teeth.

The tension in the air was palpable but the vampire was perfectly at ease.

"Leave us alone." He ordered the Texan. Then, as the boy left the room and closed the door, Spike turned immediately to face Buffy again.

"Let me guess what brought you here, Luv. I wonder if it was the need for my... " he said in a low voice, leaving the sentence open and brushing his crotch in a suggestive way.

"You're always a jerk! But I'm not here for that!" Buffy snapped.

"Oh, I thought you liked it the last time." He couldn't help but notice how her eyes had been hypnotized by his gesture.

She brought her gaze quickly back to his face. "Sure. I liked it so much I spent the last month trying to completely forget what you'd done to me! I'd have staked you, if only I didn't hate the thought of having to see you again."

"I don't think so."

"Don't tempt me!"

"Oh, you don't hate me at all. You're just _frustrated_ because you've not been in control of it and you're afraid to face the truth. "

"And what would be this truth? Tell me."

The vampire's eyes narrowed as he moved slowly toward her. He reached the point he could easily touch her, if he wanted to lift an arm up to her.

"The truth that you wanted so desperately to have sex with me," he whispered, very slowly.

Buffy reached up to slap him, but he'd anticipated her move, quickly grabbing her wrist with a firm grip. When she reached up with her other hand, he caught it too.

She presented such a nice view. All trapped in front of him, their bodies so bloody close, and she was panting so pleasantly.

"I don't kill you only because I need something you have!" she said.

"You admit it finally, Pet!" His eyes was intensely glued on hers, his lips curved into a satisfied grin.

"It's not what you think, pervert!"

Buffy broke from his grip and pushed away. "I need an old Egyptian artifact that you stole several years ago."

"And why do you need it?"

"Because it's necessary for a ritual that I must absolutely prevent." She winced immediately, realizing she'd just given away the game by telling him the truth.

"That's very interesting. The price of that artifact has just increased tenfold! Do you have a million dollars?"

"Crap. I'm not giving you any money for it."

He smiled. "But I don't want any money from you. I can give it to you without any problems, if you only would be a little nicer to me... " Spike raised and lowered quickly his dark eyebrows, before feeling a great pain where her knee hit the part of his body where he most wanted her to be nicer

"Ouch!" Spike shouted, releasing his grip and backing away. He kept his hand over his crotch, trying to soothe the pain. Then he searched her eyes for an answer, feeling stunned.

"Don't you dare make such an indecent proposal!" she yelled.

"Well, then I guess I'll have to sell it to one of the gentlemen who contacted me recently." he threatened bitterly.

"Just try and I'll definitely break your legs!"

Spike grinned back, knowing that he had the knife by the handle.

"Think about it ... It's all up to you."

She frowned, then turned on her heels and left the building.

TBC


	3. The Dark Side of the Slayer

**Chapter 3  
The Dark Side of the Slayer  
**

_(Author's note: If you like Spike in his bastard mode, I suggest you read my friend's new fiction "Vengeance". It's a WIP, AU all humans. Hope you love it as I do._

_Thanks to Puddinhead for beta-reading :))  
_

After the encounter with Spike, the Magic Box Gym seemed to Buffy the perfect place to get rid of her anger.

While she mercilessly beat the targets Giles held, she barely noticed he was backing away under her vicious blows. And how, despite his protections, he finally stumbled and fell to the ground.

"Buffy! What's the matter?" he asked, trying awkwardly to get on his feet.

"I'm so sorry!" Buffy said, moving to help him. "Dealing with Spike again is making me crazy."

Giles took her hand and straightened himself. "I see. But I don't understand your concern." He wiped his clothes as he explained. "I mean... Yes, Spike is chipless at the moment, but how many times have you defeated him by now? Why are you afraid this time?"

"What? I'm not afraid," she answered, trying to persuade herself more than him.

The truth was she wasn't afraid of Spike as much as she was afraid of the reactions of her body.

"You must remember you are definitely stronger than him," Giles stated.

"No doubts here." Buffy regained her self-confidence and smiled.

After a couple of silent moments, the Englishman sighed. "Well, I think we're done for today." He slowly took off all the training accessories and laid them down in a metal cabinet. Then he gave Buffy a thoughtful gaze and walked out the gym. The next minute, he was ready to help Anya in the shop with their customers.

-o-

Buffy sat lazily on the gym bench and closed her eyes. She rubbed her closed eyelidse with gentle fingertips.

She needed a way to resolve the problem.

Spike had something she wanted at any price and she had something he wanted at any price. And, well, if she analyzed the situation this way... their solution was obvious. They could each get what they wanted. But she wasn't accustomed to compromise, especially with vampires. And, what the hell, did she really want to bargain with her body?

Buffy shook her head, unsure of what to do. Then, somebody's excited parts covered in black leather filled her mind.

Her eyes widened and suddenly she had to stare the boxing gloves on the bench to calm her heartbeat.

'_Who are you trying to fool, smart ass?_' She asked herself. _'Spike is fucking right. He can turn you on so easily, that at the very thought of his gaze on you, you have to change your panties.'_

God, why did he have this power over her? Or maybe it was a flaw within she attracted to demons because the source of her power was demonic?

Because a foolish group of tribal shamen had taken the powerful essence of a demon and placed it in that young girl, making her the first amazing warrior of her kind.

Buffy sprawled on her stomach and let her arms hang hazily from the padded bench.

Was this the price of a Slayer's powers? Dealing with some unpleasant instincts? And how had that girl felt, the moment her essence was fused together with that demon's?

Since every Chosen had the ability to recall her ancestor's memories, Buffy closed her eyes and tried to imagine what happened to that first Slayer.

The visions started immediately.

Howling spirits hovered over a poor girl who was chained to the floor of a dark cave.

A group of priests had gathered around the girl's body and were chanting something in an old language, holding torches in their hands.

Buffy felt the girl's fears and her sheer terror. Felt her pain, when the spirits engulfed her.

The First Slayer's muscles contracted until their limit, as an invisible force crossed through her guts.

Then, after that intense moment, they let the girl get some rest, while her body was bonding irreversibly to that mysterious force.

Buffy shivered and instinctively reached for something or someone that could give her some comfort.

And, as her hands touched the hard and cold padding of the bench, she was surprised how her body relaxed immediately, imagining it could be Spike's chest.

Crap.

Her eyes opened suddenly.

After all that wrong that had happened between them, why should she... ? It was difficult enough to admit she wanted to have sex with him, but... need his comfort?

God, what was happening to her? What secret part of her had he awakened?

TBC

_(I'm sorry my chapters are so short. However, interesting interactions is going to happen very soon :)_


	4. Who has the power over the other?

**Chapter 4  
Who has the power over the other?  
**

_(This is the last chapter Puddinhead could check for me. I thank her very much for all her help and her kindness :)  
_

Buffy reached the place she had seen him the day before. She entered carefully, anxious to take care of the matter and anxious to leave a lot of uncomfortable thoughts behind her.

_'There's no time left.'_ She repeated to herself. '_If only Spike sells the artifact, I'm fucked.'_

She glanced all around, recognizing some of the demons. The vampires seated at the tables glared at her with caution and with the inquisitiveness a stranger deserved. This was their world, after all. She was an enemy or a prey, in their point of view.

The Texan recognized her and announced her presence. The shuffling of chairs told her she had interrupted something. Well, not that it mattered to her. A group of vampires proceeded through the room and she stared at each of them with her arms folded, chin lifted and her eyes narrowed in two glacial splits. Did they know who she was? If they dared to glare at her in the wrong way she could slay them without batting an eyelash.

But this evening she was there to take care of only one of them. The one that hadn't already showed himself. Buffy moved to the other room to look for him.

There he was, disarrangedly seated on a leather armchair, looking carefully at the hand he held in front of his face.

Was Spike checking on his black nail polish or was he admiring his ring? Before Buffy could ask, he absently stroked the ring with his thumb, answering her question.

"Knicked this from the same bloke who had the artifact. Killed him with my own bare hands. Did you know?" He said aloud, without looking at her.

"I don't give a damn on the way you got it,"she said, not caring about his smugness.

"So, what have you decided to do?" He turned towards her with his annoying smile.

"I think I'll kill you, if you don't give me that artifact," she answered coldly.

The vampire's mouth arched in a grin.

"Oh, the chick wants a last ditch fight, does she? But you know how it ended last time. Besides, if you kill me –not that you're able to- you'll never know where I've hidden it."

Shivering at the thought, Buffy fought to keep her head cool. She walked toward him and extracted the stake from her jeans rear pocket.

He glanced at the wooden object, amused. "You don't have the courage to do it, I wager."

"Let's bet?" she asked, as her eyes were crossed by a strange light.

How could he take her at the point of imprudence so easily? There had always been this tension between them. He'd taken advantage of it sometimes, to catch her unawares or sneak off, and she hated it, but this time she wouldn't be unprepared. Spike could dupe her, could tease her how he liked, but she didn't have any intention of letting-

Wait, why was he stripping in front of her?

Unfastening the last buttons of his shirt, he put aside its hems to show his chest. "Come on," he said, encouraging her to prove her statement.

Buffy's pupils went wide at the sight of his bare skin, like cat's pupils fixed on a prey before jumping on it.

Tired of wasting her time, she threw herself on him, straddled him, waved her stake in the air and pressed it against his chest, without sinking. Then she stared at him, challenging him to react, pressing the tip against his skin.

Returning her stare, all but frightened, Spike caught her hand and exhorted her to go on.

Her heartbeat was screaming vengeance, and she longed to return every kilowatt of his outrage.. Spike seemed to love whatever he saw in her eyes, seemed to feed off all her determination behind the desire to hurt him, all her fighting spirit, all the Slayer pride, all her force and the desire for him.

And God, how she craved him. Buffy didn't want him to know, but she couldn't help staring at his mouth in that lascivious way, letting her heart beat so crazily when she jumped on him, feeling her nipples hardening under her shirt...

Increasing the pressure on the tip of the stake, she looked at the vampire's pectorals that were tightening under it.

Spike clenched his jaw and keep perfectly firm, challenging the pain. Buffy wondered how far could she go. He deserved to be dust, didn't he? And she didn't stop, until a drop of blood appeared where she had injured the surface of his chest.

She stared at it, scared, as it became wider. Then she withdrew, shameful, avoiding his look.

"Come on, Darling. I know you want it. Why'd you stop? Afraid I might enjoy this? Afraid to give me the last ecstasy in the pain before you dust me?"

"God, what the hell are you saying?"

"Do it. Kill me. Prove you're only a killer, just like me." He said, with a flash in his eyes.

"No! I'll never be like you!" She yelled, jumping off from him.

After looking at the stake's tip with revulsion, she backed off and threw it away. She opened her mouth, just for a second, then closed it immediately. Why should she be sorry for hurting her mortal enemy?

"Go to hell!" she said instead.

Spike tilted down his head and look at his chest, then his finger wiped the little stain and went to his mouth, where he could lick slowly and pleasurably his own blood.

"You're very disgusting!" Buffy tried to repress the excitement that gesture stirred up in her.

"So, Pet, what are you going to do now? Don't you think we are at the starting point again?" He crossed his legs and lazily leaned his elbow on the chair armrest, resting his head on his palm.

A myriad of opposing emotions crossed her face. "Right then," she finally said, keeping her voice as calmer as she could. "I'll be nice to you. I'll give you the possibility to make you useful before I kill you."

His eyebrow rose, letting his puzzlement clear.

"You think it's all due to you, don't you? But this time you have to earn it," she said, clutching her fists.

Levering on his arms, Spike lifted himself and then wearily collected his duster from the chair next to him. He shrugged it on and muttered something, then walked before her to reach the exit. Stopping by the threshold, he added. "You know... As long as I like to play with you... I'm getting tired of your arrogance." He was serious now. "You're only a little girl playing with the fire." He considered her for a moment, seeming unsure if he should say something else.

Buffy folded her arms before her chest, all but frightened by his speech. "I need that artifact at any price. I don't care if I have to kill you to have it."

Spike smiled. "Oh, what a brave words. But where are the facts? When I decide I want something, I go and take it without all these ceremonies." He started to move menacingly towards her.

Unprepared, Buffy quickly backed up and found her shoulders against the wall. She stared at him as he trapped her in a second, pressing his arm against her collarbone. He started to rub her jeans roughly with his free hand, at the height of her sex.

Wincing for that unexpected contact, Buffy bit her lower lip to repress the moan which was forming in the back of her throat. She tried to push him away, but couldn't find her strength.

"Stop it..." she panted, as her hands gripped his forearm and pressed it against her cunt to encourage that movement, instead of push him away. Then, as her moans began to run off her mouth uncontrollably, he split up from her.

Stunned, she stared at him, unable to form a coherent thought.

"I believe I explained myself." He said with a pair of glacial eyes. Then he considered her with a strange expression, moving backwards from her.

"Fine, I'll give you what you want." She surrendered. Because, at that point, what could she do? She couldn't keep on lying to him and to herself.

Spike tilted his head and arched his mouth in a grin. "Oh, Pet, it isn't that simple. It will be me to decide the where, the how and the when."

Buffy was incredulous. "What?!"

"Now I'm going away and letting you think about what you want. Because, let me say it, Luv, you're a lot confused about it." He raised his eyebrows then left the room with his annoying smile.

Left alone, Buffy shrugged her shoulders and cursed her surrender. She started to walk towards the exit, with her legs trembling and her sex throbbing, but the thing that hurt her more, was the sensation of sudden emptiness that she felt when Spike separated from her.


End file.
